Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

[Clive]

WHEN CARDBOARD MEN COME IN HANDY

 

A car is driving on the interstate one day when one of its tyres goes flat.

 
The 'blonde driver' eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,

carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

 
She then took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood

them at the rear of the vehicle facing the oncoming traffic.
 

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their

nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.

 
Not surprisingly, the traffic quickly became snarled and backed up.

 
It wasn't very long before a police car arrived. The officer, clearly

enraged, approached the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling,

'What's going on here?'
 

'My car broke down, officer,' the woman calmly replied.
 

'Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing

here by the road?' he asked.
 

'Helllooooooo !!!' the blonde replied.

'Those are my emergency flashers!'

[Simon]

[mistybear]

   Well, they worked. 

[Rik]

 

[Clive]

On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very naive blond virgin bride slipped
into a sexy but sweet nighty and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed,
only to find that her new Christian husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he
replied, "Because it's Lent."

Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have
ever heard! To whom did you lend it, and for how long?"

[mistybear]

 

[Baz]

How do you confuse a blond?

Stand three spades up against a wall and tell her to take her pick

[Clive]

 

[David]

  Each one a gem......................

[Clive]

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor.
'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said.
'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants.
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened.
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought:
'This is going to make a loud noise.
So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

[David]

  This is awful Clive

[Clive]

  Nah... only kidding!   

[David]

 

[GillE]

Her manicurist wouldn't have been terribly impressed.  I don't blame her for going to a doctor first.

[Camstop]