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Author Topic: Christmas Cake Recipe  (Read 3870 times)

Offline Rodders

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Christmas Cake Recipe
« on: December 02, 2011, 13:14 »
If you have not yet made your Christmas cake you might like to try this really good recipe.

Ingredients:
  * 2 cups flour
  * 8 oz butter
  * 1 cup of water
  * 1 tsp baking soda
  * 1 cup of sugar
  * 1 tsp salt
  * 1 cup of brown sugar
  * Lemon juice
  * 4 large eggs
  * Nuts
  * 2 bottles wine
  * 2 cups of dried fruit

Method:
Sample the wine to check quality.  Take a large bowl, check the wine again.  To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.  Repeat.  Turn on the electric mixer.  Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK, so try another cup just in case.  Turn off the mixerer thingy.  Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.  Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.  Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt or something.  Check the wine.  Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Add a spoon of sugar or somefink ...whatever you can find.  Greash the oven.  Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.  Don't forget to beat off the turner.  Finally, throw the bowl out of the window, finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.  Take a taxi to Tesco and buy cake.


Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2011, 14:05 »
It would have to be Waitrose or M&S, but... :laugh:
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Offline Rik

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2011, 17:13 »
 :laugh:

You've seen Sue cooking then, Rod? :devil:
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Offline GillE

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2011, 23:16 »
Ahhhhh......




....... the Calendar Girls recipe ;) .

Mind, M&S provided the winning cake on that occassion :) .
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2011, 23:18 »
I think they do the best Christmas puds too.  :)
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Offline Rik

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2011, 10:19 »
I wonder how well a pud would travel?
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2011, 10:29 »
Depends by what method.  From a catapult? 
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Offline Rik

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2011, 10:31 »
I was thinking of a van more, but we could try a trebuchet.  ;)
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2011, 10:49 »
I thought that was a font!
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Offline Rik

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2011, 11:07 »
Quote
A trebuchet[nb 1] (French trébuchet) is a siege engine that was employed in the Middle Ages. It is sometimes called a "counterweight trebuchet" or "counterpoise trebuchet" in order to distinguish it from an earlier weapon that has come to be called the "traction trebuchet", the original version with pulling men instead of a counterweight. The counterweight trebuchet appeared in both Christian and Muslim lands around the Mediterranean in the twelfth century. It could fling projectiles of up to three hundred and fifty pounds (140 kg) at high speeds into enemy fortifications.

The trebuchet did not become obsolete until the 15th century, well after the introduction of gunpowder, which appeared in Europe in second half of 13th century.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trebuchet
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Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2011, 11:33 »
I am being educated today.  :)
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Offline Rik

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2011, 12:54 »
I'm making up for the strike day. ;)
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Christmas Cake Recipe
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2011, 14:32 »
:laugh:
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