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Author Topic: Diary of a BMW Owner  (Read 1097 times)

Offline Rodders

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Diary of a BMW Owner
« on: July 03, 2018, 10:35 »
The other day I was cruising along as usual, coming onto one of my motorways which was very busy with inferior cars.  First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down for me at all as I came off the slip road.  I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!  The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I then had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.  Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph, enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was only driving at a ridiculous 70 mph.

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.  Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me.  He also tried to keep up with me and, when he realised I would out-run him, put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on having such an excellent car.  Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes really fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even need a driving licence, so they will take it off me.  See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW.

Offline davy51

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Re: Diary of a BMW Owner
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2018, 12:34 »
 :laugh:
Dave

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend

Albert Camus

Offline Simon

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Re: Diary of a BMW Owner
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2018, 13:24 »
 ;D

Brilliant, and so accurate!
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Clive

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Re: Diary of a BMW Owner
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2018, 17:39 »
Very accurate!  ;D

Offline GillE

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Re: Diary of a BMW Owner
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2018, 02:15 »
 :laugh:

Audi drivers must have similar diary entries.
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

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Offline Den

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Re: Diary of a BMW Owner
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2018, 22:19 »
I love it  ;D
Fourth in the 2018 Quiz of the Year but at least I beat Clive.


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