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The Laughter Zone / Re: Art collector
« Last post by Clive on Today at 09:06 »
 :pmsl:
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Frank Feldman
« Last post by Clive on Today at 09:05 »
And probably true! 
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Art collector
« Last post by Simon on May 03, 2024, 22:03 »
;D
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The Laughter Zone / Art collector
« Last post by Den on May 03, 2024, 21:32 »
A London solicitor representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The solicitor said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only £5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between £15 and £20 million...

and I think she could be right"

Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day.

Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The solicitor replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary..."      :crazy:
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Frank Feldman
« Last post by Den on May 03, 2024, 21:24 »
 :clever2: :hehe:
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Frank Feldman
« Last post by Clive on May 03, 2024, 18:13 »
 :lol:
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The Laughter Zone / Frank Feldman
« Last post by Simon on May 03, 2024, 16:23 »
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabby says, “Wow, perfect timing. You're just like Frank.”

The passenger asks, “Who?”

The cabby explains, “Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like when I came along just when you needed a cab. Things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

The passenger remarked, “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

“Not Frank Feldman,” answered the cabby. “He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

The passenger said, “Sounds like he was really something special.”

The cabby replied, “There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

The passenger was amazed, “Wow, what a guy!”

The cabby continued, “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

The passenger asked, “How did you meet him?”

The cabby replied, “I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his widow."   :crazy:
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Wedding night.
« Last post by Clive on April 17, 2024, 08:42 »
 :pmsl:
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The Laughter Zone / Re: Wedding night.
« Last post by Simon on April 16, 2024, 20:39 »
;D
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The Laughter Zone / Wedding night.
« Last post by Den on April 16, 2024, 20:20 »
A young woman was preparing for her wedding.

She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.

Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty.

She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.

After the wedding, the bride and groom enter their hotel room.

The groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.

While she was in the bathroom, she opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there.

She exclaimed, "Oh no, it's short, pink and wrinkled!"

Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"  :)x
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