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The Laughter Zone / Re: Welcome aboard.
« Last post by Simon on November 18, 2023, 10:50 »
The Laughter Zone / Re: Welcome aboard.
« Last post by Clive on November 18, 2023, 09:49 »
The Laughter Zone / Welcome aboard.
« Last post by Den on November 18, 2023, 08:34 »
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the

Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed..

"I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." ...........   :devil:
The Buzz / Re: RIP Matthew Perry
« Last post by Clive on November 13, 2023, 20:47 »
I really loved the series and watched every episode.  RIP Matthew Perry.
The Laughter Zone / Re: Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House
« Last post by Clive on November 13, 2023, 20:45 »
The Laughter Zone / Re: Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House
« Last post by Simon on November 02, 2023, 21:02 »
The Laughter Zone / Three Boys Go Into A Haunted House
« Last post by Den on November 02, 2023, 20:54 »
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer. T

hey proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.


They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?


In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and disease! Brutish, incorrect lengths had been forced together, buckling the wood and bulging the steel at points, as if death, itself, were attempting to escape. It was festooned with beast-like emblems and decrepid artifacts: skulls, antlers, skins, totems, and drenched in the color of blood!

It was TRUE! The house really was haunted!


Now the boys realized with sheer horror that the insane moaning was definitely coming from the coffin!

Before the boys could turn and run, the coffin began to shake! They froze.

Then it suddenly LIFTED off the ground! They gaped in terror!

Shaking violently and rising, the coffin started to turn. It turned and turned, and gained speed. It was spinning in the air before them! A mix of terror and fascination gripped them. Unable to look away. Unable to run. It spun faster and faster AND FASTER!


The first boy with the knife slashed in the air in front of him, as if to stab away at the evil! Then he dropped the knife and ran back up the stairs, never to be seen again.

The second boy with the gun fired warning shots at the ceiling BANG! BANG!, but then thought better of it, dropped his gun and also ran up the stairs, and also was never to be seen again.

The third boy stood there calmly, reached into his pocket and popped a cough drop into his mouth. He sucked on it for a bit.

And the coffin stopped.    :crazy:
The Buzz / RIP Matthew Perry
« Last post by Simon on October 29, 2023, 11:22 »
US actor Matthew Perry, best known for playing wisecracking Chandler Bing in the hit '90s TV sitcom Friends, has died at the age of 54.

The actor was found dead at his home in Los Angeles, law enforcement sources told US media.

Friends, which followed the fortunes of six young friends living in New York City, aired from 1994 until 2004.

Its final episode was watched by 52.5 million in the US, making it the most watched TV episode of the 2000s.

The LA Times and TMZ, which first reported that Perry had died, said the actor was found unresponsive in a hot tub at his house.


I've never seen an episode of Friends, but this still seems a tragic early death.
I think they've left it a bit late but I'll have a listen to it.  :D
The Buzz / A new Beatles song titled Now And Then is being released next week
« Last post by Simon on October 26, 2023, 18:17 »
News you likely didn't have on your 2023 bingo card: a brand new single from The Beatles is coming next week. Written and sung by John Lennon and featuring contributions from George Harrison, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr - McCartney and Starr worked together to finish the song for release this year - Now And Then will be released Thursday November 2, and is being advertised as the final 'new' Beatles song ever. It will be paired on release with the band’s classic 1962 debut UK single, Love Me Do.

A 12-minute documentary, Now And Then - The Last Beatles Song, written and directed by Oliver Murray, will also accompany the single's release, and will premiere on Wednesday November 1, with commentary from Paul, Ringo, George, John Lennon and Yoko Ono's son Sean and Peter Jackson, who produced and directed critically lauded 2021 doc The Beatles: Get Back.

The release of Now And Then will precede a snazzy new reissue of the Beatles' 'Red' and 'Blue' albums (AKA 1962–1966 and 1967-1970),  their two most famous compilations. Both reissues will land on November 10.

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