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General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: davy51 on July 30, 2006, 20:46

Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: davy51 on July 30, 2006, 20:46
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:    7   -   6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:    Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch

 

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:   Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:    There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:    The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:    Tied shoes

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:    They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:    NUTS!

      

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:    They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:    Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:    The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:    If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:   He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: Simon on July 30, 2006, 21:03
:lol:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: chorleydave on July 31, 2006, 01:09
Quote
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:    There is not enough time to get everything done.[\quote]

Well, I work at a college and get fourteen weeks a year off for holidays and even I can't find the time to get everything done but I think I could manage if I had fifty-two weeks.

Sh1t, only five weeks left, I must get round to washing the dishes.  
 :twisted:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: davy51 on July 31, 2006, 02:11
it is awfully hard finding time to do anything but fish  :lol:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: Clive on July 31, 2006, 07:34
I have to admit that I don't seem to achieve much these days!   :laugh:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: Simon on July 31, 2006, 13:37
Quote from: "Clive"
I have to admit that I don't seem to achieve much these days!   :laugh:

I think to be classed as a retired person, you first have to have *worked* for a living, Clive!  That's you and me both screwed then!  :grin:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: Lona on August 01, 2006, 01:50
Mr Lona still can't adjust to retirement.  He hates being retired. :(
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: davy51 on August 01, 2006, 14:30
Quote from: "Lona"
Mr Lona still can't adjust to retirement.  He hates being retired. :(









the secret is finding something to keep you busy
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: Sandra on August 02, 2006, 00:01
Mr Lona told me that he used to go to work to have 8 hours a day peace and quiet away from the wife  :wink:
Title: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT
Post by: davy51 on August 02, 2006, 01:17
:whistle:  :not:  :ouch: