PC Pals Forum

General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Serenity on February 04, 2007, 14:20

Title: Women's English
Post by: Serenity on February 04, 2007, 14:20

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

         40-ish                                       -       49
         Adventurous                              -       Slept with everyone
         Athletic                                     -       No tits
         Average looking                         -       Ugly
         Beautiful                                    -        Pathological liar
         Contagious Smile                       -       Does a lot of pills
         Emotionally secure                    -       On medication
         Feminist                                    -       Fat
         Free spirit                                  -       Junkie
         Friendship first                           -       Former very *friendly* person
         Fun                                           -       Annoying
         New Age                                   -       Body hair in the wrong places
         Open-minded                             -       Desperate
         Outgoing                                   -       Loud and Embarrassing
         Passionate                                -       Sloppy drunk
         Professional                              -       Bitch
         Voluptuous                                -       Very Fat
         Large frame                               -       Hugely Fat
         Wants Soul mate                       -       Stalker

 WOMEN'S ENGLISH

         1.   Yes    =       No
         2.   No     =       Yes
         3.   Maybe     =       No
         4. We need    =       I want
         5. I am sorry   =       you'll be sorry
         6. We need to talk   =       you're in trouble
         7. Sure, go ahead    =       you better not
         8. Do what you want   =       you will pay for this later
         9. I am not upset     =       of course I am upset, you moron!
       10. You're very attentive tonight    =       is sex all you ever think about?

 MEN'S ENGLISH

         1. I am hungry      =       I am hungry
         2. I am  sleepy      =       I am sleepy
         3. I am tired         =        I am tired
         4. Nice dress       =        Nice cleavage!
         5. I love you        =        let's have sex now
         6. I am bored       =       Do you want to have sex?
         7. May I have this dance?      =       I'd like to have sex with you
         8. Can I call you sometime?    =       I'd like to have sex with you
         9. Do you want to go to a movie?    =       I'd like to have sex with you
         10. Can I take you out to dinner?      =       I'd like to have sex with you
         11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit     =       I'm gay
 

And finally.....

 A recent scientific study found that women find different male  
 faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

 For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with  
 rugged, masculine features.
 
 However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in  
 petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a  
 cricket stump shoved up his backside   :devil:

Title: Re: Women's English
Post by: Simon on February 04, 2007, 14:27

 :ouch2:

Title: Re: Women's English
Post by: mistybear on February 05, 2007, 12:04

:haha:  So very true.

Except for.

Quote from: Serenity on February 04, 2007, 14:20

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in 
 petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a 
 cricket stump shoved up his backside   :devil:

This usually starts a week before, and then only the first day or two.