PC Pals Forum

General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Clive on September 01, 2008, 21:12

Title: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 01, 2008, 21:12
1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because
it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle,
he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium, at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes in-verse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults:
Practice safe sects!
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Simon on September 01, 2008, 21:22
:groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan:  :groan: 
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 01, 2008, 23:07
 :shuddup:
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 02, 2008, 10:11
Well, I like it, Clive - enough to steal.  ;D  :thumbs:
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 02, 2008, 13:33
Steal away.  Oh, I remember a Pat Boone song with that title.   :)
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 02, 2008, 15:03
Lonnie Donnegan did it too. :)
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 02, 2008, 23:31
What an excellent memory you have Rik.  Lonnie's version was equally as good. 
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: mistybear on September 03, 2008, 10:22
 :lol:
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 03, 2008, 11:20
What an excellent memory you have Rik.  Lonnie's version was equally as good. 

It's strange, Clive, I didn't 'notice' LD that much at the time, but I find I remember lots of his songs, and not just the hits, eg "The party's over".
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 03, 2008, 14:22
I always liked his songs but I think Steal Away was too melancholic to be a huge hit for anyone! 
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 03, 2008, 15:03
Though a good rendition of the spirit of the song.
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 03, 2008, 19:18
A quick google revealed that it was the flipside of "Pick a Bale of Cotton" but it certainly had airplay at the time otherwise I would not have heard his version.  I actually had a copy of Pat Boone's version on a compilation LP which I no longer have.
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 03, 2008, 19:43
He was probably the first singer, at least that I can remember, who brought spirituals to the mainstream. A talented man, under-rated at the time, imo.
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Simon on September 04, 2008, 00:13
Yup, My Old Man's a Dustman was very spiritual!   ;D
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 04, 2008, 07:53
Trust Simon to wreck a good thread!   ;D
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Simon on September 04, 2008, 09:41
 :)x
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Rik on September 04, 2008, 13:01
He can't help it, his real name is Phil E Stein. ;D
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: Clive on September 04, 2008, 13:31
 ;D
Title: Re: Punny stuff--
Post by: David on September 04, 2008, 13:49
I always liked his songs but I think Steal Away was too melancholic to be a huge hit for anyone! 

Davy Arthur did a nice version though I suspect it may be a different song,
Also Foster and Allen........I like this version as well.

The puns well  :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: :groan: