PC Pals Forum

General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Simon on September 13, 2008, 21:55

Title: Men's Rules...
Post by: Simon on September 13, 2008, 21:55
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-

Please note.... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.  ;D  :scoot:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 10:35
Please note.... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

Because you are only allowed one. You put forward suggestions and we get to pick the one that you are allowed to keep. Fair enough.   :thumbs:

I'm sports mad so this is easy.   ;)   ;D

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
 
 
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Simon on September 14, 2008, 13:08
Because you are only allowed one. You put forward suggestions and we get to pick the one that you are allowed to keep. Fair enough.   :thumbs:

:dreamon:  ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 13:13
Simon to succeed Gordon Brown in the forthcoming election  X gets my vote every time  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 13:16
:dreamon:  ;D

 :boobies:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 13:19
Well if you are going to blackmail me..................sorry Simon MB gets it  :)x


Dont ask what has she got that you havnt  ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Camstop on September 14, 2008, 13:26
 :rofl: That has got to be the truest funniest post i've read in ages  :)x  


Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 13:27
Well if you are going to blackmail me..................sorry Simon MB gets it  :)x


Dont ask what has she got that you havnt  ;D

Charm, intelligence, beauty......... and big  :boobies:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Simon on September 14, 2008, 13:36
A vote winner every time, MB!  :haha:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 13:38
I have always offered my support on this topic  :o:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Simon on September 14, 2008, 13:40
Don't listen, MB, he can't be truss-ted.  ;)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 13:46
Just like keeping abreast of things....... :devil:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 14:00
I think he's a little nuts.  :o:

(https://www.pc-pals.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi70.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi84%2Fmistybear_2006%2F0390nuts-1.jpg&hash=d09c7d76255a4983096eb7d105c73b73987f0dfe)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 14:05
Over to you Simon  :crazy: :woot:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Rik on September 14, 2008, 15:42
Run. ;D :scoot:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 15:47
Reminds me of that joke about, what one saggy boob said to the other......  ;)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Rik on September 14, 2008, 15:48
I remember it well. :)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 16:55
Wait for me Rik :scoot:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 17:11
Reminds me of that joke about, what one saggy boob said to the other......  ;)

I dont   ???
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Rik on September 14, 2008, 17:26
It was here only a few days ago, David, try a quick search. ;)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 17:28
I cant the wifes gone to her sisters  ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 14, 2008, 17:29
What did one saggy boob say to the other?


Better perk up, or they'll think we're nuts.   :o:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 17:32
 >:( and I was hanging around for this  ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Simon on September 14, 2008, 18:12
Well, I thought it was funny!   ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 18:14
I take thse things very seriously Simon   :devil: :devil:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Rik on September 14, 2008, 18:14
I take whatever I'm given and show proper gratitude...  :o:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: David on September 14, 2008, 18:16
 :thumbs: :thumbs: ditto  :laugh:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: mistybear on September 15, 2008, 06:45
>:( and I was hanging around for this  ;D

And for you.... :bartmoon:

Well, I thought it was funny!   ;D

Our shared sense of humour is special, and often misunderstood. And for those who obviously are without a sense of humour, please refer to Funny Pictures, Reply #494  :o:


I take whatever I'm given and show proper gratitude...  :o:

A true gentleman. May your gratitude be blessed with many..... :boobies:
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Rik on September 15, 2008, 10:06
Amen to that. ;D
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Clive on September 15, 2008, 15:32
Verily.   o:)
Title: Re: Men's Rules...
Post by: Tony on September 16, 2008, 19:29
:rofl: That has got to be the truest funniest post i've read in ages  :)x


I'll second that  ;D