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General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Clive on November 19, 2008, 18:32

Title: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 19, 2008, 18:32
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but

 I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem.

Trust me, it will do the job, said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in New Zealand and Tasmania
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Simon on November 19, 2008, 20:57
:haha:
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: mistybear on November 20, 2008, 07:53
 :haha:

Oi, my mother was born in Tasmania.


Why wasn't this suggested to my grandfather.
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 20, 2008, 09:09
I'm presuming the joke must have had Australian origins.  I understand the swipe against the kiwis but why the Tasmanians?   :dunno:
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: mistybear on November 20, 2008, 09:19
Most states in Australia have shots at each other, but every state seems to gang up on Tasmania.

Here's an explanation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_regional_rivalries
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: sam on November 20, 2008, 10:11
lol
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Simon on November 20, 2008, 10:16
:haha:

Oi, my mother was born in Tasmania.


Why wasn't this suggested to my grandfather.

You should be thankful it wasn't!  ;)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Camstop on November 20, 2008, 12:35
Most states in Australia have shots at each other, but every state seems to gang up on Tasmania.

Here's an explanation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_regional_rivalries


That's interesting  ':|
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: mistybear on November 20, 2008, 13:21
Funny things happen when you put silly lines on a map and make different laws for different geographical locations. Why not just one country? But then I suppose it would, Oh, you are from down south then, or I think all that heat has fried your brain, for people from the tropics. Or banana benders as I like to call'em.  :)x

It's just a stupid to put silly lines on a map in a tribal nomadic regions. How do you tell those people that they can't go to their traditional hunting grounds because now it's in another country. But I suppose it makes sense to the people who divided it, this bit's ours.... stupid.
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Serenity on November 20, 2008, 15:14
They tend to take that same view in this country too MB !  I mean everyone knows .........

                           
                                           SCOTTISH < Thick   :o:



IRISH < Thick   :crazy:


                                                   ENGLISH <  Twits    :bubble:


                         
                            WELSH <   :thumbs: Fantastic specimens of human life  :leer:
                         

                                                   
                                                            ;D ;D ;D


















                     
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Camstop on November 20, 2008, 15:29
That's the Welsh for ya  :scratchit:  :)x  ;)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 20, 2008, 16:38
Funny things happen when you put silly lines on a map and make different laws for different geographical locations. Why not just one country? But then I suppose it would, Oh, you are from down south then, or I think all that heat has fried your brain, for people from the tropics. Or banana benders as I like to call'em.  :)x

It's just a stupid to put silly lines on a map in a tribal nomadic regions. How do you tell those people that they can't go to their traditional hunting grounds because now it's in another country. But I suppose it makes sense to the people who divided it, this bit's ours.... stupid.

The British were very good at inventing countries by putting lines on maps.  Worldwide it's caused most of the wars during the past 200 years!   :)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Sandra on November 21, 2008, 00:35
Sorry Clive, I think you will find that its religion that has caused the most wars in that time period. The brits have been quite easy going for the last 200 years, especially compared to how we were in the 300 years before the 19th century. Even then I bet religion was still the main cause, as it has been since the days of the Mayans  ::)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: mistybear on November 21, 2008, 00:36
The British were very good at inventing countries by putting lines on maps.  Worldwide it's caused most of the wars during the past 200 years!   :)

Precisely, Clive.  :)



They tend to take that same view in this country too MB !  I mean everyone knows .........
     


The Welsh do produce some wonder singers.  :)  And it's always a fantastic atmosphere when Wales is playing in Cardiff. I'm not much of a Rugby fan but listening to the fans singing, is amazing.  :)

I also read last night that Tom Jones was "busking" in London, to raise funds for some charity. You certainly get a better class of buskers over there, we get old hippies and kids with flutes and violins at Christmas.  ::)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 21, 2008, 08:15


The Welsh do produce some wonder singers.  :) 

Sadly I'm not one of them.   :bawl:
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: mistybear on November 21, 2008, 08:25
Not to worry Clive, a good singing voice isn't everything. Youth, good looks and a full head of hair, are just as important.  ;)


The Welsh do produce some wonderful singers. 

And they also produce some wonderful singers.  :blush:  At least I can fix it in a quote.  ;D
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 21, 2008, 10:16
Er... yes MB.   :bawl:
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Rik on November 21, 2008, 10:17
Sadly I'm not one of them.   :bawl:

No supper for you then, Clive. ;)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 21, 2008, 16:38
It would probably be thrown at me Rik.   ;D
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Rik on November 21, 2008, 16:52
Keep your eyes shut and your mouth open then. ;)
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Clive on November 21, 2008, 17:44
I'm usually told to do it the other way around Rik.   ;D
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Rik on November 21, 2008, 17:49
I know, but my way works better, Clive. ;D
Title: Re: Irish Vasectomy
Post by: Serenity on November 23, 2008, 09:05
Sadly I'm not one of them.   :bawl:


Oh  I'm not too bad   :leer:


Rugby... sighhhh   Wales played the All Blacks yesterday, lost like..  but hey who cares, great game anyway!  Loved the stand off after the  Haka as if those Kiwi fruits could intimidate the Welsh!  :tease: