PC Pals Forum

General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Simon on January 20, 2009, 17:24

Title: Quickies
Post by: Simon on January 20, 2009, 17:24

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife!

--

I boarded an US Airways flight yesterday.

They charged me a dollar for the headphones, two dollars for the pillow,

And ten dollars for the goggles and armbands!

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A bad workman blames his fools

EDIT: *tools

stupid keyboard.

--

My wife just accused me of treating her like a door mat...

So I walked out on her.

--

This inauguration is dead boring. Anybody know what time they are going to assassinate him so I can switch off and watch later?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs swimming the English Channel?

Clever Dick

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Pat and Mick go for a job on a building site. The foreman sees Pat first.

"What's your name?"

"Pat".

"I don't want you. Your name's Patrick, I don't want anyone who doesn't even know their own name".

So Pat goes out and tells Mick what happened. Then it's Mick's turn.

"What's your name?"

"Mickrick".

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I recently gave my wife two hot nights between the sheets.

I locked her in the airing cupboard for the weekend.

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My doctor told me I had an attitude problem.

I told him to go and f*** himself.

--

A chemist walks into his shop after his lunch-break to discover a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant. She replies "He came in for some cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him a course of very strong laxatives." The chemist says "You idiot, you can't treat a cough with laxatives!" "Of course you can," she answers "Look at him, he's too afraid to cough!"

:ithank:

Title: Re: Quickies
Post by: Rik on January 20, 2009, 17:31

I empathise with the last one, having once had a barium enema in the days where they left you to get to the nearest loo as best you could...

Title: Re: Quickies
Post by: Simon on January 20, 2009, 17:49

;D

Title: Re: Quickies
Post by: Clive on January 20, 2009, 18:25

 :pmsl:

Title: Re: Quickies
Post by: Sandra on January 21, 2009, 01:28

Quote from: Simon on January 20, 2009, 17:24

This inauguration is dead boring. Anybody know what time they are going to assassinate him so I can switch off and watch later?

Whats taking them so long  :dunno:

Title: Re: Quickies
Post by: mistybear on January 25, 2009, 11:36

 :lol:

Quote from: Simon on January 20, 2009, 17:24

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs swimming the English Channel?

Clever Dick

I thought it was "Bob"  ;D