PC Pals Forum
General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Clive on December 11, 2009, 11:13
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(The National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts)
In this health and safety conscious world I feel it must be brought to the attention of our employers that being mounted on the top of a Christmas tree is hazardous in several respects. Firstly, to try and balance on top of a Christmas tree requires a large amount of concentration not usually found in an inebriated fairy. Secondly, incorrect mounting has the unfortunate effect of being painful and bringing tears to the eyes, not to mention also making certain bodily functions impossible. A suitable platform plus safety harness must therefore be provided. Strict interpretation of health and safety regulations do also dictate wearing a hard hat, but I appreciate that this would rather detract from the traditional fairy costume.
Other examples of other possible hazards to our members include:
a) Overheating of the top part of a Christmas tree from too many lights or candles;
b) Inadequate heating of the top part of the tree if insufficient lights or candles are used;
c) Need for a means of escape if candles are used and set the tree on fire;
d) Increased need for helmets if the member is required to work at a lower level in the tree and so become subject to possible injury from falling objects, such as badly supported presents or glass ornaments;
e) Obvious and varied hazards when required, as a fairy godmother, to tame and train rats to pull pumpkin coaches;
f) The possibility of magic lamps (invariably oil lamps) being lit (or located under water) at the time they are rubbed and require a genie member (assuming they are eligible to be members) to suddenly appear and grant wishes.
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it's about time someone stood up for these neglected and abused creatures. They are treated worse than house elfs. Several years ago I decided to take the vegetarian option and stuck a potato on top our Christmas tree instead. Not only did it save a fairy from misery, but Ron's dad found that by sticking wires into the potato he was able to power up the tree lights too. Mind, I suspect there might have been a bit of nefarious wand play relating to that endeavour.
Yours
Hermione Grainger
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;D
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:laugh: