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General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Clive on January 28, 2011, 14:03

Title: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Clive on January 28, 2011, 14:03
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,
Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.
 
First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!
My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
 
Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!
 
And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!
 
Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;
He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
 
So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!
He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
 
The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..

And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
 
Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;
And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!
 
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
 
So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;
And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.
 
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!
 
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
 
Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!
 
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:
!!!!NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!
 
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 28, 2011, 15:37
Sung to which tune, Clive? ;D
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Simon on January 28, 2011, 16:15
:hehe:
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Clive on January 28, 2011, 22:25
I sung it to Wild Rover but it didn't work that well.  :)x
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 29, 2011, 11:31
 ;D
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 29, 2011, 11:32
Try "Home, boys, home".
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Clive on January 29, 2011, 17:59
I don't even know how that one goes!   :laugh:
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 29, 2011, 18:11
Here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQfkHVk3zb8
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Simon on January 29, 2011, 18:14
It's bound to be Scottish.  ;D
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 29, 2011, 18:17
Irish. ;)
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Clive on January 29, 2011, 18:27
I thought Wild Rover was Irish but it turns out to be Scottish!   :stars:
Title: Re: "NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"
Post by: Rik on January 29, 2011, 18:30
The two cultures are very intertwined, eg Peggy Gordon.