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General Discussion => The Laughter Zone => Topic started by: Clive on March 11, 2011, 17:53

Title: Brain of Britain
Post by: Clive on March 11, 2011, 17:53
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
 
Jeremy Paxman:
 What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
 
Contestant:
 Homosexuals.
 
Jeremy Paxman:
 No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
 


 


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
 
Jamie Theakston:
 Where do you think Cambridge University is?
 
Contestant:
 Geography isn't my strong point.
 
Jamie Theakston:
 There's a clue in the title.
 
Contestant:
 Leicester
 


 


BBC NORFOLK
 
Stewart White:
 Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
 
Contestant:
 I don't know.
 
Stewart White:
 I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
 
Contestant:
 Arm
 
Stewart White:
 Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
 
Contestant:
 Strong.
 
Stewart White:
 Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
 
Contestant:
 Louis
 
Stewart White:
 Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
 
Contestant:
 Frank Sinatra?
 


 

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
 
Alex Trelinski:
 What is the capital of Italy ?
 
Contestant:
 France
 
Trelinski:
 France is another country. Try again.
 
Contestant:
 Oh, um, Benidorm.
 
Trelinski:
 Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
 
Contestant:
 Sorry, I don't know.
 
Trelinski:
 Just guess a country then.
 
Contestant:
 Paris
 


 

                                     THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
 
Anne Robinson:
 Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
 
Contestant:
 The Conservative Party.

 
 


 

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
 
DJ Mark:
 For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
 
Ruth from Rowley Regis:
 I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
 


 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
 
Bamber Gascoyne:
 What was Gandhi's first name?
 
Contestant:
 Goosey?
 


 

GWR FM ( Bristol )
 
Presenter:
 What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
 
Contestant:
 I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
 


 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO -   MANCHESTER )
 
Phil:
 What's 11 squared?
 
Contestant:
 I don't know.
 
Phil:
 I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
 
Contestant:
 Is it five?
 


 

RICHARD AND JUDY
 
Richard:
 Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
 
Contestant:
 Forrest Gump.
 


 

RICHARD AND JUDY
 
Richard:
 On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
 
Contestant:
 Er. .. ...
 
Richard:
 He makes bread . . ..
 
Contestant:
 Er . .....
 
Richard:
 He makes cakes . . ..
 
Contestant:
 Kipling Street ?
 


 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
 
Presenter:
 Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
 
Contestant:
 Barcelona
 
Presenter:
 I was really after the name of a country.
 
Contestant:
 I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain
 


 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
 
Question:
 What is the world's largest continent?
 
Contestant:
 The Pacific.
 


 

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
 
Presenter:
 Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
 
Contestant:
 Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
 


 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
 
Steve Le Fevre:
 What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
 
Contestant:
 Magna Carta?
 


 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
 
James O'Brien:
 How many kings of England have been called Henry?
 
Contestant:
 Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?
 


 


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
 
Chris Searle:
 In which European country isMount Etna?
 
Caller:
 Japan
 
Chris Searle:
 I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
 
Caller:
 Er ..... Mexico ?
 


 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
 
Paul Wappat:
 How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
 
Contestant (long pause):
 Fourteen days.
 


 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
 
Daryl Denham:
 In which country would you spend shekels?
 
Contestant:
 Holland ?
 
Daryl Denham:
 Try the next letter of the alphabet.
 
Contestant:
 Iceland ? Ireland ?
 
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
 It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
 
Contestant:
 No.
 


 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
 
Phil Wood:
 What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
 
Contestant:
 Er. ... ...
 
Phil Wood:
 It's got two syllables . . .. Kor . ..
 
Contestant:
 Blimey?
 
Phil Wood:
 Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ....
 
Contestant:
 (Silence)
 
Phil Wood:
 OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I .. . ..
 
Contestant:
 Walked?
 


 

THE VAULT
 
Melanie Sykes:
 What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
 
Contestant:
 Nostalgia.
 


 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
 
Presenter:
 What religion was Guy Fawkes?
 
Contestant:
 Jewish.
 
Presenter:
 That's close enough.
 


 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
 
Wright:
 Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
 
Contestant:
 Jesus.
 

 












































 

 
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Rik on March 11, 2011, 18:06
 :laugh: but :dv:

http://www.pc-pals.com/smf/the-laughter-zone/quiz-inquisitors/msg149039/#msg149039
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Simon on March 11, 2011, 18:21
 ;D
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Rik on March 11, 2011, 18:22
 :devil:
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Clive on March 11, 2011, 22:12
Over 3 years ago!!  Every joke has a right to be aired once in 3 years!!  ;D
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Simon on March 12, 2011, 11:51
It's about every 3 weeks next door!   :laugh:
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Rik on March 12, 2011, 11:51
Over 3 years ago!!  Every joke has a right to be aired once in 3 years!!  ;D

Not if I'm watching.  ;)
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Rik on March 12, 2011, 11:51
It's about every 3 weeks next door!   :laugh:

And getting worse.
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Simon on March 12, 2011, 12:04
 ::)
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Clive on March 12, 2011, 13:12
Our time will come.   ;D
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Rik on March 12, 2011, 17:23
Sooner than we may wish.  :o:
Title: Re: Brain of Britain
Post by: Simon on March 12, 2011, 17:38
:bawl: