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Author Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here  (Read 83300 times)

Offline bat69

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #30 on: January 07, 2003, 19:28 »
I wish ............  :P ;) ;) :P :-[ >:D
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Offline Rodders

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #31 on: January 16, 2003, 22:36 »
A young blonde female stockbroker was bored with driving her BMW.  It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one.  She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.

That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible.  It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paintwork.

An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car.  Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?  With that thought, there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop.  She got out and lifted the hood and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong.

Luckily she had her mobile phone with her, so made a quick phone call to the AA and after a short wait, saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?"

"Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."

"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.

"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"

"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, "Ok.  How many times a week do I have to do that?"

Offline Whiskas

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #32 on: January 19, 2003, 18:29 »
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

Offline Whiskas

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #33 on: January 20, 2003, 23:51 »
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #34 on: January 23, 2003, 12:37 »
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2003, 12:37 »
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #36 on: January 23, 2003, 12:46 »
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #37 on: January 23, 2003, 12:47 »
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #38 on: January 23, 2003, 13:10 »
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #39 on: January 23, 2003, 15:13 »
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2003, 15:16 »
A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner.
"Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"
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Offline Simon

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2003, 17:52 »
Barra, send us a postcard from wherever you emigrate to!  

You're in DEEP S**T!!  :heehee: :pmsl:
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2003, 20:33 »
If nobody explains them, I'm safe ;D
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #43 on: January 24, 2003, 00:11 »
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
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Offline Barra

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Re:Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #44 on: January 24, 2003, 00:18 »
A blonde teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.
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