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Author Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here  (Read 137829 times)

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #540 on: June 06, 2009, 18:59 »
:aarrgh:
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Offline GillE

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #541 on: June 06, 2009, 21:44 »
 :laugh:
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #542 on: June 08, 2009, 09:15 »
A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde.

Within seconds, the blonde dies.

When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #543 on: June 08, 2009, 09:36 »
:lol2:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #544 on: June 08, 2009, 11:54 »
 :pmsl:

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #545 on: June 09, 2009, 17:37 »
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted, in the worst way, to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don’t you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank,watching in silent amazement.

The Blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,

"S**T!!! THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
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Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #546 on: June 09, 2009, 18:16 »
 ;D

Just as well she didn't want a belt...
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #547 on: June 09, 2009, 19:08 »
 :pmsl:

Offline mistybear

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #548 on: June 10, 2009, 05:09 »
 :lol2:
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Serenity

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #549 on: July 18, 2009, 18:49 »
Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a
 blond haired  cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy
 hat, his gun  and his boots. He arrests him for indecent   exposure.
 
  As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are  you walking
 around like   this?'
 
 The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff .  I was  in this  bar down
 the road and this pretty little red head asks me  to go out to   her
  motor home with her. So I did.
 
  We go  inside  and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my
 shirt..... So I  did.
 
 Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my  pants.... So I
 did.
 
 Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my  shorts....so
 I did.
 
 Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and
 says, 'Now go  to town cowboy.. '
 
 'And here I am.'
 
 
 Son of a Gun.  Blonde Men do exist  :crazy:

Offline Serenity

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #550 on: July 18, 2009, 18:50 »
A blond heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

So she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.

He thought she probably meant 2..5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blond came to the door and the milkman said,

'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?'

The blond said, 'No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk

And take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'

The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurized?'

 

 The blond said, 'No, just up to my tits.  I can splash it on my eyes.'   :)x
 

Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #551 on: July 18, 2009, 19:00 »
:groan:
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline David

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #552 on: July 18, 2009, 19:13 »
 :thumbs: :thumbs: :lol2:

Offline GillE

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #553 on: July 18, 2009, 20:04 »
I bet the milkman drove the fastest milk cart in the West.

;D
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #554 on: July 18, 2009, 21:15 »
;D
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