General Discussion > The Laughter Zone
Groaner thread
Serenity:
A Post Halloween Story...
A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP... behind him.
Walking faster he looks back,
and makes out the image of an upright
coffin banging its way down the middle of the
street towards him
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...
faster...
faster...
BUMP...
BUMP....
BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door,
rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him, However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ..
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
...
...
...
...
...
clappity-BUMP...
on the heels of the terrified man.... .
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps....
With a loud CRASH the coffin starts breaking down the door.
Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something heavy, anything ...
his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of Cough Syrup
Desperate, he throws the Cough Syrup as hard as he can at the apparition.
and the coffin stops!
Just like the bottle said it would ;D ;D
Clive:
Groannnnnnnnn. ;D ;D ;D
Simon:
One fine day in a small restaurant in a small town by a small river in a small county of France, there was a chef named Le-Faice.
Le-Faice was a big butch Frenchman who took enormous pride in his strange and unusual variety of cuisine... until one day when a young waiter requested a squid for one of the customers.
"The squid must be mild-mannered, green of colour, and have a moustache!" exclaimed the waiter.
"No problem!" replied Le-Faice, "We have one left."
But there were problems, for as Le-Faice prepared to slaughter the freak squid, he couldn't help noticing how cute it looked sitting on his chopping board. In fact, after 3 attempts at raising his cleaver to kill the squid, a tear rolled down his cheek with pity. "I can not do it!" he cried "I can not kill this poor defenceless, mild-mannered, moustached squid of the green complexion".
So, Le-Faice grabbed Hans (the German dish-washer) and gave him the cleaver. "Kill!" shouted Le-Faice, pointing at the squid, but Hans was weak and was also unable to bring harm to such a cute looking thing.
And you know what that means?
Hans that does dishes is as soft as Le-Faice with mild green hairy-lipped squids! ;D
Clive:
I hate you Simon! ;D ;D ;D
Simon:
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force could change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strikes twice except in stories like these, but while he was thinking of being a prawn again, a flash of lightning struck the water next to Justin and, lo and behold, he turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a c0cktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark," came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate, the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old mate. Come out and see me again!"
"No way, man. You'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy. I will not be tricked."
Justin cried back, "No I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed...
(are you ready for this...??)
... I'm a prawn again, Christian!" ;D ;D
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