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Author Topic: Duck!  (Read 177 times)

Offline Rodders

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« on: May 18, 2019, 21:49 »
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "Hold on, you're a duck!"

"Your eyes are working okay then" replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"So your ears are working, as well," says the duck.  "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.  "It's just that we don't get many ducks in this pub.  What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a Plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman really cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.  So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman a good day and leaves. 

The same thing goes on for a couple of weeks.  Then one day the circus comes to town.  The ringmaster comes in for a pint and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus, aren't you?  Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus.  He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing his business card to the barman.  "Get him to give me a call, would you?"

So the next day, when the duck comes into the pub, the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck.  "Where is it?"

"At the Circus," says the barman.

"The Circus?" says the duck.

"That's right," replies the barman.

"The CIRCUS?" the duck says again.  With the huge tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in Caravans?" asks the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"...and the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in total disbelief, and says "What would they want with a Plasterer?"

Offline Clive

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Re: Duck!
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2019, 22:05 »
Winner BBC Quiz of the Year 2015, 2016 and yet again in 2017.

Offline GillE

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Re: Duck!
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2019, 22:05 »
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Duck!
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2019, 23:37 »
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

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