Topic: Groaner thread

[TR]

A few to keep ya smiling  

A guy calls his buddy the horse racher and says he's sending a friend over to look a a horse.

His buddy asks "how will I recognize him?" That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or femal horse. "A femal horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"/ The guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I thee her mnouf"? The rancher is gettin pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mout.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground!

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should reprase that; "Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?

[Serenity]

Pssst.....

http://pc-pals.com/index.php?board=42;action=display;threadid=309    :whistle:


The old ones are always the best!    

[TR]

Have you ever been an Elephant in an previous life, that was ages ago   what a mam Memory you have (Nov 2002)?

[Clive]

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.

[TR]

Hopefully I have posted this in the right section  

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.

[TR]

A jellybean went to the doctors and asked for an HIV test.  The doctor said "Don't be ridiculous you're a jellybean you can't be HIV positive"  To which the jellybean replied "You don't understand doctor I've been sleeping with Allsorts."

[Simon]

[TR]

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".  

[Serenity]

A drunk walks up to a man looking under the bonnet of his broken down car and asks, "What's the matter mate?"

"Piston broke," says the driver.

"So am I," replies the drunk.


 :mrgreen:   :mrgreen:

[Camstop]

:heehee:  :grin:  :grin:  :grin:

[Michelle]

From my sons beano, but it made me laff !!


Three English men were talking about their brothers,
 
"My brother is called George because he was born on St George's day." Said one man.
 
"My brother is called Andrew as he was born on St Andrews Day." Said another man.
 
The last man said.
 
"The same thing happened to my brother..... Pancake."

[Clive]

:ouch: Is that rag still going?  I used to love it when I was a kid!  

[Michelle]

yeah me too, and the Dandy, my son now collects them both.

I think its been going 60 years so you must have the first one clive  :bad:  

[Clive]

I wish I had the first issue!  It's worth a fortune now.  

[GillE]

CLUBBERS in Yorkshire have taken to using dental syringes to inject Ecstasy directly into their mouths.

This dangerous practice is known as "E by gum".