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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 189731 times)

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #90 on: February 21, 2003, 21:43 »
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

NO EYE Deer.

If you don't get it: No idea.

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #91 on: March 05, 2003, 11:57 »
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #92 on: March 07, 2003, 15:41 »
Setting: A small rural community, so small, in fact, the only church in town is a tiny Baptist church whose pastor must also double up as the local barber to make ends meet.

There happened to be a man in this small community who had invested wisely and was enjoying his newfound comfort. This man got out of bed one day to go through his daily routine. He looked into the mirror as he was about to shave and decided, "I make enough money now, I
don't have to shave myself. I'll go down to the barber and let him shave me from now on." So he did.

He walked into the barber shop and found the
preacher/barber was out calling on the shut-ins. His wife, Grace, said "I usually do the shaves anyway ... sit down and I'll shave you."

So he did. She shaved him and he asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"$25," Grace replied.

The man thought that was somewhat expensive and that he might have to get a shave every other day.

Nonetheless, he paid Grace and went on his way.

The next day, he woke up and found his face as
smooth as the day before. No need for a shave today, he thought, well, it was a $25 shave.

The next day he awoke to find his face as smooth as a baby's bottom. Wow! he thought, that's amazing.

Normally, he would need to shave daily to keep this clean-shaven business look.

Day 3, he woke up and his face was still as smooth as the minute after Grace had finished. Now, somewhat perplexed, the man went down to the barber shop to ask some questions.

This particular day the pastor was in and the man asked him why his face was as smooth as it was the first day it was shaven.

The kind old pastor gently retorted, "Friend, you were shaved by Grace... and once shaved, always shaved."


 

Offline Simon

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #93 on: March 07, 2003, 18:13 »
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #94 on: March 07, 2003, 20:16 »
Heathen Simon!!  Philistine!  Cast not thy pearls before swine saith the Lord.   :heehee:

Offline Rodders

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #95 on: March 07, 2003, 22:23 »
Repent Simon!  Or have you not pented at all yet?    :-[

Offline Simon

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #96 on: March 07, 2003, 22:31 »
I get what the joke is, but I've never heard that expression before, not being religious in any sense of the word!
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Gemini

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #97 on: March 07, 2003, 22:52 »
Shame on you Simon - you must know that this is a very religious forum  ;)  I've heard god mentioned frequently (usually when the computer plays up tho)!!
url=http://pc-pals.com/userpics/gemsig2.swf]Flash[/url]

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #98 on: March 07, 2003, 22:54 »
Clearly there is no evidence that Simon has ever pented.   ;D  ;D  ;D

Offline Serenity

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #99 on: March 08, 2003, 10:06 »
WARNING!
> >
Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home!

 
A local man was found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub.
 
The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes.
 
A banana was sticking out of his ass.
 
Police suspect a "Cereal Killer"  ;D

Offline Rodders

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #100 on: March 08, 2003, 10:11 »
The banana has now been removed from his ass and police are looking into it.   ;D

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #101 on: March 21, 2003, 15:32 »
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is real excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.

The manager says no.

The bag boy replies, "But I've been working here for five years, why can't I run the juice machines?"

The manager explains, "I'm sorry, but baggers can't be juicers!"



Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #102 on: March 25, 2003, 07:49 »
A miner enjoyed painting, but he was too poor to buy canvasses. So he painted on the walls of his cottage. Unfortunately, a gang of youths
broke in and defaced his paintings. They were caught and taken to court, where they were charged with "corrupting the murals of a miner."



Offline Serenity

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #103 on: March 29, 2003, 09:23 »
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."  ::)  ;D

Offline Camstop

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #104 on: March 29, 2003, 09:37 »
That one's not up to your usual standard....Serenity.

Perhapse it's too early for you yet... :P :P :P


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