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Author Topic: One-liners  (Read 16717 times)

Offline Den

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #195 on: March 07, 2019, 17:55 »
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
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Offline GillE

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #196 on: March 07, 2019, 19:30 »
 :facepalm:
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #197 on: March 07, 2019, 20:11 »
 ;D
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Offline Den

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #198 on: March 10, 2019, 17:16 »
My wife was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...
Fourth in the 2018 Quiz of the Year but at least I beat Clive.

Offline Den

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #199 on: March 10, 2019, 17:24 »
“Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.”
Fourth in the 2018 Quiz of the Year but at least I beat Clive.

Offline Den

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #200 on: March 10, 2019, 17:31 »
I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she’s just going to scream and run out of the park
Fourth in the 2018 Quiz of the Year but at least I beat Clive.

Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #201 on: April 06, 2019, 12:49 »
I swallowed a dictionary.  It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #202 on: April 06, 2019, 13:15 »
:aarrgh:
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #203 on: April 06, 2019, 14:54 »
 ;D
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Offline daveeb

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #204 on: April 07, 2019, 15:41 »
I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she’s just going to scream and run out of the park
I'm going to have to borrow that one  ;D

Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #205 on: April 08, 2019, 14:38 »
 :)x
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Offline Rodders

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #206 on: April 18, 2019, 11:53 »
My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

Offline Simon

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #207 on: April 18, 2019, 12:20 »
 :crazy:
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Offline Clive

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #208 on: April 18, 2019, 14:26 »
 :)x
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Offline GillE

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Re: One-liners
« Reply #209 on: April 30, 2019, 20:33 »
I went to the zoo the other day and saw a baguette in a cage. It was bread in captivity.
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)


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