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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 100474 times)

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #990 on: November 29, 2017, 18:28 »
 :facepalm:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #991 on: December 02, 2017, 22:20 »
A Womans dog is drowning in the sea.
A passing German tourist dives in, pulls out the dog, resuscitates it & saves its life.
'Are you a vet' asked the woman.

'Vet?' said the German 'I’m F**king soaked!'
 
·       saw 2 dwarfs knocking f**k out of each other in the carpark today, probably the shortest fight I've ever seen !!! : /


·       After a visit to a whore house, a man notices a green lump on his willy so goes to doc's. "That's serious" says doc, "You know how rugby players get cauliflower ears?" "Yes," says man nervously. "Well", says doc, "You've got a brothel sprout!”


·       A man drags a huge metal box to the antiques roadshow at his local town. "Where did you get this from?" asks the expert. "oh, it's been in my loft for over 40 years. I think it's an heirloom" replied the man. "do you have insurance?" asks the expert. "no, should I?" asks the man. "yes, it's your water tank" replies the expert.


·       My friend went to hospital for an operation to cure his premature ejaculation. I rang & asked the nurse how he was doing..she said "It's still touch & go" : /
 
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #992 on: December 03, 2017, 00:50 »
The brothel sprout one was actually funny!  ;D
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #993 on: December 03, 2017, 11:24 »
I wouldn't quite go that far!   ;D
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #994 on: January 25, 2018, 12:52 »
Always Complaining…
An elderly man asked a hospital doctor, “Can you give me an update on the condition of my wife, Mrs. Walters, who was admitted yesterday?”
“Ah yes, Mrs. Walters,” sighed the doctor.” In the short time she has been here she has done nothing but complain - about her bed, the food, the other patients and even the nurses.”
The man frowned. “So you mean-“
“Yes,”  interrupted the doctor “I’m afraid she’s critical.”
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Offline GillE

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #995 on: January 25, 2018, 13:55 »
 :facepalm:
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #996 on: January 25, 2018, 14:17 »
 >:(
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #997 on: January 25, 2018, 15:24 »
 :smirks:
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Offline Serenity

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #998 on: July 09, 2018, 23:07 »
Knock, knock....

 Who’s there?

 Norma Lee..

 Norma Lee who?

 Norma Lee I don’t go around knocking on doors, but I just had to get back to meet you!  :P

Offline Serenity

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #999 on: July 09, 2018, 23:09 »
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
 
Doris...

Doris who?

Doris locked. Open up! ;D

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #1000 on: July 09, 2018, 23:29 »
 :facepalm:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #1001 on: July 10, 2018, 08:47 »
And there was me thinking that old wines improve with age.   ;D
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Offline Rodders

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #1002 on: July 10, 2018, 20:56 »
And there was me thinking that old wines improve with age.   ;D

Don't drop your aitches Clive.   :laugh:

Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #1003 on: July 10, 2018, 21:04 »
 ;D
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #1004 on: July 10, 2018, 21:19 »
 :o:
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